


Double Distraction

by Fox_Salz, lynsaneinthemembrane



Category: Gravity Falls, Rick and Morty
Genre: Alcohol, Blow Jobs, Multi, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Polyamory, Rimming, Sex, Stanchez Summer Sizzle, Stianchez, Threesome - F/M/M, Vaginal Sex, sex work mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-14
Updated: 2017-09-14
Packaged: 2018-12-29 21:07:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12093441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fox_Salz/pseuds/Fox_Salz, https://archiveofourown.org/users/lynsaneinthemembrane/pseuds/lynsaneinthemembrane
Summary: Rick and Diane distract a stressed Stan in the best way possible.





	Double Distraction

**Author's Note:**

> So we decided to write quite possibly the first piece of stan/Rick/Diane (stianchez). We pave the way with porn.- Fox
> 
> Your favorite OTP becomes an OT3 when Diane enters the mix. Thanks for the amazing idea, Fox. -Lynz

Stan trudged into the small house they were renting and fell onto the couch, not bothering to even loosen the tie like he normally would. He threw an arm over his face as though that could hide him from the world. 

Diane frowned, closing the door behind her and Rick. As the latter went over to their liquor cabinet she checked on Stan. He made a disgruntled sound when she called his name but nothing else.

"How're you holding up, babe?" she asked, smoothing his hair back.

Stan mumbled a response that was made unintelligible by the arm blocking his mouth. 

"Sorry, didn't catch that." 

Stan lifted his arm high enough to reveal his lips, twisted in a frown. 

"I said, how do you think?" he grunted, before dropping his arm back into place.

Rick returned, cradling three glasses and a bottle of whiskey in his arms. Diane motioned to Stan with her head as he set the items down on their rickety coffee table. Rick's eyebrow furrowed in concern. He cleared his throat. 

"Hey, Lee, wanna drink?" he said, as he poured a generous amount of whiskey into each heavy glass.

Stan nodded his head but didn't sit up or even move his arm. Diane and Rick shared a look.

"W-we don't have any straws, babe."

"Stan, you can't drink with a covered mouth."

" _ Fine _ ," he grumbled, finally pushing himself up. He snatched one of the glasses and slammed it.

And back against the couch he went, arm falling into place. Diane sighed and gently sat next to him, tenderly placing her hand on his arm. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" 

"There's nothing to talk about," he growled, barely audible.

"Sure, you're just moping for fun," Rick snorted, emptying his own glass and refilling it.

Diane shot him a withering look. "Not helping, Rick."

"Is  _ that _ what he was trying to do?"

Grinning Rick said, "I got him talking though."

Stan suddenly righted himself and stole Rick's glass. He downed it in one gulp and threw himself once more in his original, petulant position.

"Hey!" Rick exclaimed in disbelief. "D-did he really just steal my drink?"

Diane laughed.

"It's what you deserve. Don't even think about it!" She reached out and plucked her own glass right from Rick's hovering hand. Rick looked downright betrayed for a moment, before shrugging and bringing the whiskey bottle straight to his lips, taking a large gulp.

"Don't hog the whiskey." Stan reached out and snatched the bottle from Rick.

"Well, it's better than grunts," Rick mused, eyeing the other man as he took a generous gulp. 

Diane started to rub Stan's thigh.

"I know your plan didn't...quite work out, and we are  _ very _ short on rent—"

"W-which is due in three days."

"But, you can't just give up hope! We'll manage, just like we always do."

Stan stared morosely into the liquor bottle and said nothing. 

"I don't see how we're gonna manage this one," he finally mumbled after a stretch of silence. 

"Oh, relax," Rick said, taking the opportunity to take back the bottle and chug down another drink. "Y-you can be so  _ dramatic _ , you know that, right Lee? If it comes down to it we'll just make another movie." 

Rick waggled his eyebrow suggestively, and Diane couldn't help but giggle. 

"I told you that was a one time thing," she laughed.

"And rent's a monthly thing so unless you have any bright ideas. Or we want to finally listen to my giraffe plan—"

"No," the other two instantly shot down. 

Rick shrugged. 

"Fine. Come up with something else. I vote we just do another porno, though. Less effort."

"Easy for you to say," Stan piped in. "You just got to lay there and take it while we did all the work." 

Rick opened his mouth to give a retort, when Diane cut him off: "He's kinda of got a point."

"W-what the hell was I supposed to do? I was tied up."

Diane burst out laughing, and even Stan couldn't help the smile that touched his lips, softening his stony expression. 

"Last time we didn't get the chance to rehearse," Rick went on. "W-we should change that." 

Diane caught the look in Rick's eye and quickly downed her whiskey. 

"You know what they say, 'practice makes perfect,'" she added, setting her glass down. Her hand moved further up Stan's thigh. "What do you say, Lee? Want to get some practice in?"

Stan glanced between them in wonder. 

"Are you two trying to distract me with sex?"

"Would we ever do something like—"

"Yes."

"Then yes, we are distracting you with sex," Diane confirmed shamelessly. 

Her fingers brushed his groin just as Rick leaned over and blew on the back of Stan's neck. He shivered at the different sensations.

"Yeah, practice is always, um..." 

Stan trailed off, eyes fluttering shut. Rick was running his tongue around the edge of his ear; Diane, meanwhile, was letting her hands roam his lap leisurely. Occasionally she drug her nails across the fabric of his dress pants which she knew drove Stan wild.

" _ Fuck, _ " Stan moaned, breathing heavily. 

"Diane I-I think our distraction is working." 

"Aw, shut up," Stan groaned, hand darting out to grip the back of Rick's head. He pulled him close, lips clashing hard. 

And then Diane's mouth at his neck, sucking and biting. Stan's moan was muffled against Rick's mouth, and he pulled away to press his lips to hers with a slight desperation.

Diane's lips parted and Stan's tongue darted in. Now it was Rick's turn to nibble on his neck. He was gentle at first, but as their kiss went on he grew impatient and bit down hard enough to elicit a deep groan.

Stan's arms curled around Diane and Rick's waists, pulling them each into his lap. Rick fingered Stan's tie, pulling it loose. He immediately shrugged off his jacket, shaking hands struggling to undo the buttons of his shirt. Diane's deft fingers pushed his out of the way, quickly getting the shirt open and exposing his chest. Rick was already shirtless, and they both stared at a fully clothed Diane. 

"Come on, Diane," Rick snickered. "Catch up."

Smirking, she slowly pulled her blouse over her head, then tossed it behind her. Glancing between the two she reached back and snapped her bra loose. It joined the shirt. Breasts freed now, she cupped them. For a moment she simply squeezed and fondled herself. The men watched her, transfixed like she was a hypnotist dangling a watch.

Suddenly moving in tangent with each other, Rick leaned down to take one of her nipples in his mouth while Stan kissed and sucked at her neck. She let out a long, encouraging moan. It turned into a gasp as Rick teased the flesh between his teeth. He knew how rough he could be without reaching Diane's pain limit, and he stopped just short of that. Then he moved on to the other breast, gently sucking on that one as he played with the one he had left.

Diane tangled her hands in either man's hair, pulling them closer to her. She yanked on Rick's when he bit down on her second nipple, pushed Stan's faced closer to skin when he started lapping at her collarbone.

A low, smoldering heat was building between Diane's legs, and she let out a low whimper. Rick laughed around her nipple, his breath tickling her sensitive skin. Stan began kissing down her chest, lips trailing down her stomach. Almost as if reading her mind, he was sliding his hand down her pants. It was Stan's turn to laugh when he felt her wetness, swirling one finger against her clitoris.

Diane's back arched, hips pushing into Stan's touch. A loud moan dropped from her mouth.

Rick's lips were suddenly on Diane's, muffling her. His tongue darted into her mouth, and his hands reached up to fondle her breasts. Each man's hands sent jolts of pleasure rushing through her, that smolder exploding into a roaring flame. Diane moaned hungrily into Rick's mouth, before tearing her lips away.

"Oh, fuck," she panted.  _ "Please _ ."

"Y-you gotta be more specific than that," Rick teased. 

"I bet I know what she wants."

Then Stan pressed a finger inside of her. Diane gasped, bucking into the welcomed intrusion. The others steadied her, both men grabbing one side of her hips.

Stan let out a low whistle, slipping another finger in easily. A strangled moan was caught in Diane's throat. 

"You wouldn't  _ believe _ how wet she is." 

Rick other hand was unbuttoning his own pants and pulling them down, freeing his erection. 

"Y-you wouldn't  _ believe _ how hard I am."

"We can both see how hard you are, Rick." 

Diane let out a laugh that turned into a deep moan when Stan began to move his fingers in and out of her in a quick, even pace.

Rick's dick twitched eagerly, and Stan's own pants were growing tight. 

Stan pressed a sloppy kiss to the side of Diane's jaw.

"You're beautiful," he said, breath tickling her skin, "and you sound so fucking amazing."

"L-like a song bird."

Hair had fallen in her face and Rick tucked the errant strand behind her ear. Then he swooped down, claiming her open mouth for a deep kiss. He nipped at her bottom lip, then ran his tongue across it teasingly as Stan's fingers never faltered.

Diane wanted to compliment in turn, but was finding it hard to think—let alone speak. She could barely return Rick's kiss, unable to contain the panting and moans that Stan was pulling from her with his deft fingers.

Stan's lips pressed against her stomach, and he was suddenly pulling his fingers out of her. She whined at the loss, but then felt her pants and underwear being removed completely. After laying her down on the couch, Stan's mouth was on her skin once again. He moved lower and lower until his lips pressed against hers, tongue dipping down to lap gently against her clit.

Diane's back arched even harder, and she pulled away from Rick to groan loud and hard. Rick took the opportunity to take her hand and wrap it around his hardened cock. She immediately began to massage up and down.

"Oh, y-yeah, baby. Just like that."

"Stan," she whimpered. 

He reached up, pressing the fingers that had been inside of Diane against her mouth. Without hesitation her tongue darted out. She ran it around them, teasing his fingertips and lapping up her own juices. Then she brought them into her mouth and began to suck, taking them in as far as she could.

"Fuck that's hot," Rick panted.

Stan made a noise of agreement from between her legs, the vibrations of the sound like shockwaves on Diane's sensitive skin. She moaned around his fingers, before he pulled them out of her mouth to slip them back into her slick entrance. She jolted at the sudden intrusion, grinding her hips down into Stan's face.

She pulled Rick closer, sitting up to position herself in front of his cock. She took him into her mouth, sloppily drooling down his shaft.

"Oh,  _ fuck _ ." 

She took him as far as she could, his tip sliding into her throat. Rick's body went rigid as she moved her head up and down, sliding his cock in and out of her mouth in a smooth rhythm. 

"Fuck, Diane," he groaned. "You-you're so  _ good _ at that."

One hand gripped the back of the couch while the other grabbed her hair. He didn't want to gag her, but it was hard not to start thrusting. Especially when she raked her teeth ever so gently up and down his shaft.

Rick locked eyes with Stan. He had been watching Diane but now was gazing up at Rick. There was lust and adoration there. Rick smiled, feeling himself nearing the edge.

"Babe, I-I'm so fucking close."

Diane pulled Rick out of her mouth with an audible  _ pop. _

"But we're just getting started." 

Stan laughed, and pulled away from her. Diane's juices dripped from his chin, and he reached up to give Rick a sloppy kiss. Diane worked on pulling off his shirt completely, and slid down his pants, revealing his fully erect cock and leaving him only in his loosened tie. She slid between them while they kissed, hands working up and down each shaft.

Rick grabbed a handful of Stan's hair and tugged his head to the side. He bit down quickly on the exposed flesh, causing Stan to cry out, then gently licked at the assaulted area. Rick did this again and again on different parts of his neck without a particular rhythm. Stan couldn't tell when the sudden pain would hit, relishing the anticipation. Each time he felt the sting he let out another cry followed by a drawn out moan.

Stan reached out for anything to hold on to. One arm wrapped around Rick's lithe frame, nails digging into his back. His other hand found Diane's breasts again. He tweaked a nipple and she gasped.

All at once Rick and Diane acted together, pushing Stan down onto the couch. Diane swung her leg around and positioned herself above his stiffened cock; Rick straddled his shoulders, ass hovering over Stan's mouth. Stan was amazed by the synchronization of their movements, but this thought was cut short when they both pressed down at the same time. Diane easily slid his member into her, moaning loudly at his girth. Rick grinded his ass down, gasping when Stan's tongue reacted accordingly, licking broad strokes against his hole.

Stan grasped Rick's hip, guiding him closer. His breath hitched as Diane lifted up, then came down again on his dick. Then she moved her hips in slow, teasing circles for a moment before lifting up again without warning. She kept that pace up, driving him wild.

His tongue worked harder, drawing out delicious moans from Rick. They only intensified as Stan reached around to grip his cock, pumping erratically.

Rick leaned over and pressed his mouth against the corner of Diane's. He kissed her desperately, letting out a plethora of needful sounds, pleading without words.

Diane's fingers knotted in Rick's hair, kissing him deeply as she slowed the movement of her hips to a steady grind. She could feel every inch of Stan deep inside of her, sending low shockwaves of pleasure pulsing through her body with each rocking motion. 

Rick's hand found her breast again, squeezing her pert nipple and tugging it gently. Diane whimpered into the kiss, her own hand trailing down to dip between the folds of her labia. Her fingertips gently grazed her clitoris, before circling it desperately. Stan suddenly began to buck underneath her, driving himself impossibly further in with each thrust. Diane tore away from Rick, tossing her head back and almost screaming Stan's name. Rick didn't miss a beat, lips moving down to kiss and bite her exposed neck.

Diane was drowning in pleasure, feeling herself grow ever closer to climax. She threw one arm over Rick’s shoulder, nails digging into his back. She tried to hold herself steady on top of Stan, almost unbalanced from the force of his hips beneath her. 

All the while Stan continued his work on Rick's asshole, tongue lapping hard at the tender ring of flesh. His hand flew up and down Rick's shaft, in perfect rhythm with his pounding hips. Rick panted against Diane's skin, for a moment unable to focus on anything but the amazing work Stan was doing.

Stan knew they were all getting close, and he wanted to see who he could tip over the edge first. His own orgasm was  _ so close.  _ He wanted to outlast his partners, though, revel in their pleasure bringing him his.

Just as he bucked wilder, he quickened the hand around Rick's cock. Diane gasped while Rick moaned. Her nails scratched up and down his back, trying to anchor herself. Rick hardly seemed to notice. His forehead was pressed to Diane's shoulder and he was crying out a mixture of their names which soon tapered off into wordless whimpers.

Rick came with a wordless exclamation. There were stars in his eyes and cum everywhere. It had splattered against Diane's stomach and chest, and it dripped down Stan's fingers and onto his abdomen. Rick leaned heavily on Diane as Stan focused all his efforts on her now.

Stan batted her hand away from between her legs, his thumb picking up from where her own fingers had left off. She drew a shuddering breath,  wrapping both arms around Rick, knuckles white as she gripped the muscled flesh of his back.

"Oh, fuck," she groaned. " _ Stan. _ Right there, please don't stop!" 

Stan pounded into with Diane abandon, hips flying beneath her. An unintelligible combination of their names and some choice swears streamed from her lips, the pitch of her voice steadily climbing. Her back arched violently suddenly, on the cusp of orgasm. In that moment Rick raked his nails up the sensitive skin of her bare thighs. The sensation was enough to tip her over the edge, her entire body growing rigid as the world fizzled around her.

As soon as she tightened around him Stan's vision blurred. It was primal instinct that thrust up the last few times it took before he came hard, too. For a moment the only thing he registered was an all-encompassing bliss. It filled every inch of him, took over sight and touch and all his other senses. 

When he came to his partners had shifted. Diane had slipped off his now spent cock, and the pair were half curled around each other on top of him. Stan drunk in the sight of them. Both hair tousled, matching smiles on their faces. Rick could barely keep his eyes open.

They were the most beautiful people Stan had ever seen. And they were all his. He smiled weakly, reaching out to pull them into a messy embrace. They all laughed together, planting lazy kisses on each other anywhere they could reach.

Stan didn't know how long they lie tangled and cramped on the small couch, but he didn't want the moment to end. None of them did. So they didn't move, content to stay there in comfortable silence, drinking in each others' musk with eyes half shut.

It was Diane who finally broke the silence. 

"We probably should clean up," she muttered, but made no sign of effort to untangle herself from her boys.

Rick hummed in agreement, but likewise didn't budge. Stan pointed out that, since was was at the bottom of their pile, he couldn't get up. So even though they knew they'd be sticky and need a shower later, the three stayed right where they were.

Chuckling Stan commented, "You two are great at distractions."

"Remember, Stan, that was  _ practice,”  _ Diane replied, playfully poking his cheek.

"Now that we've _ ‘practiced _ ’ I think making another movie might not be a bad idea after all."

"H-hell yeah! I still want to steal a giraffe, though."

"Maybe," Stan conceded, rolling his eyes. Rick let out a triumphant laugh.


End file.
